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TV Free Dog River/Transcript
Trike DuBois (Stunt Guy): Hey, I'm Trike DuBois. I'm gonna ride this trike down a hill and jump off a ramp. Ah! Hank Yarbo: Cool! Hank: I'm tricycle Hank and I'm gonna ride my trike down this hill and off a ramp. Brent Leroy: Um, that's a slide. Hank: You see any hills around here? Wanda Dollard: Where'd you see this again? Hank: On TV. Brent: For the last time, Wile E. Coyote's a cartoon. Hank: No, this was a real guy. Wanda: And he hurt himself? Hank: Yeah. Wanda: Proceed. Hank: Whoa! Brent: Don't try this at home kids. Molly (Playground Kid): Ah, doy. Fitzy Fitzgerald: OK, any new business? Emma Leroy: Yes. I read that tomorrow is the start of "Turn Off Your TV" week. Brent: I propose we ban reading. Emma: Well, I think Dog River should take part. Even Wullerton is doing it. I'd like to stick it to that town. I should have won their knitting contest, you saw what I knit. Brent: You knit a scarf that says "Wullerton Sucks." Emma: Well, they should have recognized the skill involved. Who's with me? Hank: I say we do it. TV almost killed me. Oscar Leroy: Don't listen to this jackass! I love TV and TV loves me. Brent: Well, here's something you won't hear me say very often. I agree with my Dad. TV's like the brother I never had. Hank: I thought I was the brother you never had. Brent: No, you're the non-brother I did have. Lacey Burrows: I don't watch TV so missing a week of it would be a breeze for me. Well, I do watch one show, "So You Think Your Kid Can Dance." But that's it. Last night was actually pretty good. There was this kid from Cincinnati and his Dad just lost his job, his Mom's in jail. So, this little kid, he's eight years old, he danced his heart out. I, I called in and voted for him like, ten times. You can do that. You can do that. You can call in an vote as many times as you want. Karen Pelly: I think we should give up TV just to get off the junk. Brent: People, people, listen to yourselves. You're actually talking about giving up TV for an entire week. That's, that's seven days. This is madness. Wanda, back me up on this. Wanda: Sorry, what are we talking about? I don't pay attention at these things. Brent: Giving up TV for a week. Wanda: Ha, ha, yeah. Good luck with that. Emma: Let's put it to a vote. Those in favour of no TV for a week and sticking it to Wullerton, spit. Fitzy: Done. Oscar: Hey, you tricked us! Lacey: Hey, so how is day one of no TV going? Brent: Good, good. I don't need TV. Plenty else to do. Brent: Whoa, now it's two pieces of floaty goop. Brent: I get by. How about you? Lacey: Ah, fantastic. I've got all this free time. I've been baking, calling old friend... Lacey (phone): Hey, do you watch "So You Think Your Kid Can Dance?" Oh, you lost your TV in the divorce? I see, huh. Do you have your ex-husband's phone number? Brent: Good for us. Well, I'm off to put a raisin in soda water. Somebody told me it goes up and down. Davis Quinton: It's 20 minutes after the hour and Karen Pelly has just entered the Police station. No accidents so it should be smooth walking all the way to her desk. Karen: What are you doing? Davis: I got out the old ham radio and I was thinking we could do a radio show to help people through no TV week. Karen: Oh, that is so cool! This gonna be great. Classic rock station, right her in Dog River. Davis: Yeah, 'cause that's what Saskatchewan needs, another classic rock station. Maybe we could call it "The Bear" or "The Goat" or "The Moose." Karen: That's good, I like all of those names. Davis: No, what Saskatchewan needs is an all jazz station. Karen: But I thought we wanted people to listen. Or am I confused? Hank: I like this TV-free week. You know, I finally have some time to catch up on some reading. Wanda: What are you reading? The back of cereal boxes? Hank: Yeah, yeah. I started with the back of the Trix box and then I got through the Alpha-Bits box and Shreddries, couldn't put it down. If you want I'll lend it to you. Wanda: Oh thanks, but I read these things called books. Hank: Oh. Well, if you get tired of those I recommend anything from Kellogg's. Having trouble with your crossword? Wanda: Having trouble concentrating on my crossword. Hank: Starts with an "M", word for "belittled." Midget. Here, I'll write it. Wanda: No, you're not writing anything. Hank: I got it. Wanda: No! Hank: Give it! Brent: Well, this is never going to float. Now, this is worth watching. Oscar: I'm bored. Emma: Listen to the radio. Oscar: I hate listening to the radio. Creeps me out. Emma: Well, you can't sit here moping all day. Oscar: Watch me. Oscar: Clean the basement. You clean the basement. Clean yourself, stupid bookcase. Hello you, oh. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Brent: Hey. Wanda was just here and she said she wanted you to meet outside the gas station later so she could give you a gift. Hank: A gift, really? Brent: Yeah, she said she was feeling bad about freaking out on you earlier. Oh yeah, she's cleaning the windows and she was wondering if you could help her by dumping out her dirty water bucket. Brent: Hey Wanda, I was just talking to Hank and he said he read the back of a Triscuits box and now he's smarter than you. Wanda: Smarter than me? He's not smarter than the Triscuits. Brent: He said you say something like that. That's not what it was. He said you're easier to read than a box of Triscuits. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Wanda: No, no. This is good to know. Brent: Ha, ha. Ha, ha, oh. Hair Woman: Excuse me... Brent: Shh, shh. My show's on. Lacey: Hey Oscar. So, this no TV thing must be killing you, eh? Oscar: I've never done anything easier. Water off a duck. Lacey: Yeah, me too. Oh yeah, last night I did some more baking. Read a couple chapter of...oh God, I would give it all up for one minute of "So You Think Your Kid Can Dance." Oscar: I can hook you up. Lacey: What? Oscar: I'm talking prime time quality stuff. Oscar: I get two other channels. There's a Moose Jaw station and there's CBC. Lacey: That can't be the CBC. TV Announcer: Hockey on TSN... Lacey: Oh, there it is! Category:Transcripts